My girl loses her purse on a drunken adventure after a Groundation concert.  Next morning the front desk of the hotel calls and says someone is in the lobby with the purse.  I go down with a smile thankful to have found a decent person in this world.  It ends up being a middle aged, frumpy, overweight, painfully fucking German GINGER! From that moment I knew this was going to be bad:

Me: “thank you soo much; you are such a nice person…we thought we were screwed”

Ginger Bitch: “Iz there zome zort of revard? I didn’t hav to bring zis back you knoow..I already checked, zheres no cash in zee wallet”

Me: (empty pockets, hungover and confused) “are you fucking kidding me?…uhh…I’ll be right back”

I walk back up to the room and I start to mentally rage out.  I am pissed. The nerve of this bitch to straight up ask me to give her something for it and tell me she already looked in the wallet!!…oh my fucking god…fuck her. I grab some cash and head back to the lobby.

(I walk up, $20 bill in hand and see her fat ass is sitting in the lobby with the purse on the coffee table in front of her. Fuck fat gingers)

Me: “Is that the purse”

Ginger Bitch: “Yez”

Me: (I grab the purse without giving her SHIT) “Go FUCK YOURSELF”

(Her jaw drops I immediately turn and walk away…fuck her)

Message of the day: do good things for people only because it’s good to do good things…period.

Love Me,

D.J. Sinwrite  

I hate hot girls that aren’t sexxy. They bring nothing to the table
except their rarely natural appearance and I’m sorry…but I don’t care how hot a chick is, there is not a person on this planet that doesn’t gettired of fucking the same thing everyday…if you don’t have some untamed sexiness, some deep hotness that transcends your amazing rack, tight ass and raw penetration…then you will always be “the other woman” or a part of the 50% divorce rate in this country (probably twice). Have fun with sex and make your partner feel sexy. Nothing
gets my dick harder than being wanted…bad! Tell them you want them, don’t be afraid to give extra and let out the inner Tiger Wood’s mistress…don’t make beating off more entertaining than your real love life (write that down)

Love Me,

D.J. Sinwrite

There is a gay bar close by my house, The VIP, that has $6 all you can drink beer night…if that doesn’t scream get fucked up and screw…I don’t know what does. Reminds me of getting crabs thanks to $12 all you can drink at Club Safari in Tijuana.  Men are always horny; in the straight (happy) world, women make it so fucking hard to get laid…you’d think her pussy was hiding an ounce of raw Colombian cocain.  In the queer world of the gay man…your targets want to screw just as bad as you! How fuckin sweet is that?! I’m NOT promoting gay sex…what I am promoting is cheap beer nights and women that aren’t ashamed to try and fuck guys as hard as we are trying to fuck them. Come on, AIDS only really exists in Africa and penicillin can take care of most anything else if the condom breaks…free love for all!!

Love Me,

D.J. Sinwrite

If you are a guy that has a hard time getting laid…buy all means, buy a hooker and have some fun. It’s the oldest profession in the world for a reason; fucking is a god given right. Prostitutes can do things your wife or girlfriend would never dream of…and are better at it too (sadly).  We have been conditioned to feel ashamed about who we fuck or how we fuck or how much we like to fuck…WTF!?!  Our bodies were meant for each other and should be willingly shared by both sexes. OK ladies; want to keep your man away from a real pro??

1. Be of “service”
2. BE DOWN FOR ANY/EVERYTHING! (and I mean everything…he’s a perv)
3. Refer to Rules 1 and 2

Do you think the phrase “I want lady in the street and a freak in the sheets” is something all men agree on because it’s a catchy song lyric? Nooope…its cuz it’s true. My soul mate for example…I can’t fuckin resist her. Why you ask?  Because she tells I’m “fucking hot!” and that thinking about me makes her wet and start touching herself ::chills::  Raw physical attraction is what hooked me…she’s sexxy…but what keeps me coming back for more is her hunger to explore everything sex has to offer. Its no holds barred; there is nothing we can’t throw in the sex pot. If you hold out on sex because you think it’s too risqué for your man…then have fun losing another one <3

Love Me,

D.J. Sinwrite

I’m convinced that no matter how good or bad my performance may be, the chick got something out of our encounter and therefore should not be paid…not by me anyway. Whether it be the thrill of an orgasm on a one night stand or a life lesson on not making bad decisions; we both got some. A BJ on the otherhand…has nothing to offer the little lady except and cockmeat sandwich and maybe (if she cool) the pleasure of plesuring. That’s why head is so great; equal parts domonation and ejaculation…its a perfect combo. In fact, Its so perfect and sometimes so rare to find a girl that good at it…that I would galdly drop some coin on a happy finish, blow job or any other form of one sided pleasuring. Now show me to Chun Li’s Happi Massage Parlor!!  5/10/10

Love Me,

D.J.  Sinwrite

Why the fuck not?

Hello there and welcome to my back alley of the world.  There will be things here you like…things you hate….stuff to make you laugh and some good old fashion bullshit.  Because this is The 90951, post comments with the same amount of DGAF as I do…I post this twisted shit from the heart so you can take it or fuckin’ leave it…either way, tell a friend.  If this alley makes you think, fart or smile…in that order… then it was all worth it.

Love Me,

D.J.  Sinwrite